One of My Kind...like a Strangest journey in free fall

Faith Faith Faith....
Trust Trust Trust....
my head's keeps spinning around these things...well because they matter to me.

I've talked about faith a couple of times on the blog...like now..
And here's the thing....

I DO have faith.  In things that I know to be true.  Even the ones I can't see. 
I have faith that the sun will always rise in the East and set in the West. I have faith that the world will keep spinning like my "head". I have faith in her love and my love for her. 

And I have faith that things work out eventually.

So, maybe that's not your definition of faith. But to me it is, so go with me.
Putting your faith in people is hard.  People are fallible.  People are weak.  People don't always act the way that you think that they will.

And sometimes they disappoint you. And if you've put your faith in someone for a long time (like for 5 long years, in my case) and they were not deserving of your faith in the first place, you end up getting hurt, shattered and badly broken from inside..

And it's that much harder to ever put your faith in someone again. 

I HAVE....!! And most of the time I think I'm over it. The irreparable damage that it's done to my psyche. 

But I still falter from time to time. I need reassurance. Reassurance that the person in whom I'm putting my faith and trust is not going to hurt me.

And that's weak of me. But I'm a person too. And, as they say, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." 

What can I say? I've been disappointed before.... Just like everyone else. But you never get anywhere if you can't hold on to that little piece of you that's still willing to try. To give it a chance.  To TRUST someone. 

If you can't do it, you live your life in a haze. You don't have the crushing rejection and hurt. But you never get to have the ecstasy either. And both exist. I have to believe that they do. 
I have faith that they do. 
And so, I try.
Do you?  Do you REALLY try? 

I do.  With all my heart.  Because I have faith in someday....

well this "chunk" of my life experience is dedicated to my friend RAMANNDEEP SINGH..

"....And so, somehow we will carry on, find a way to keep things going. There are blue and white butterflies dancing in the cold sunlight, the dog is digging a hole in what used to be the front garden, a small squirrel in  climbing the old oak tree in search of a hidden cache of  acorns.
Immanence. Just to stay here now and breathe deeply...."